It was another hard visit to Mamie's last Wednesday. I appreciate everyone's encouragement. I have to constantly be reminded I am not the Holy Spirit. Jesus, please forgive my pride. I don't know what the balance between carrying a burden for someone and going overboard into playing the part of the Holy Spirit is. But, as Ted commented, every visit counts. God will bring fruit not because I am "spiritual" but because He is love. When He hears the prayers of the saints for someone who is lost, He cannot refuse. He is hearing our prayers for Mamie and loving it.
Big praise! Connor, Peter, and Rustin are in the air headed for Elpaso, as I write. The team of about 35 people depart Tuesday for Moscow. Praise God! Thanks to the loving offering of the church body and many other givers. Also, to all those who provided ways for the guys to earn money through the garage sale and offers of work. They sweated a lot, but as Bruce said, " It should cost you something".
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
urgent prayer request
If you read the last entry made by Mattie you already know our last visit to the nursing home was not easy. I've started going to "Whispering Pines" because my neighbor, who most of you have prayed with me for for quite some time, is now a resident there. Mattie had a hard time for different reasons than I, but none-the-less pray for her too as I intend to keep taking her with me weekly.
My request is for Mamie, my neighbor. She does not have peace about where she is going after death and is challenging me more and more on that subject. I have had to get more bold with her about some issues that she doesn't see as sin. She is from the generation of "deep south" mentality, in which there is a prejudice against other races, especially blacks. She considers them inferior to her own race, and never hesitates to speak with derogatory words towards them even in the presence of my 11 year old daughter. I had to get really bold last week when one such incident came up. I had to tell her how wrong it is to talk so about the very people who, ironically, are taking care of her now that she is in this home. She is certain she is a Christian, but we all know there is a current of hatred that runs under such an attitude. I John makes it plain that we can't say we love God and hate our brother at the same time. Her pride in the religion she was taught by her parents keeps her from repentance. They had the same attitude, therefore it must be okay. To repent would be to have to admit that her parents where wrong. This will take a miracle, but I believe God wants to do just that.
I stood up for the righteous way with a measure of boldness last week, but I must confess if Mattie had not been there I may have brushed it off. I am ashamed to admit I have brushed off this attitude before. It isn't easy being confrontational. I felt I was arguing, and the Lord warns us against arguing with unbeliever in I Tim. I left feeling uncertain if I had really been saying what the Spirit wanted me to say.
As I was seeking God about these things while later slapping sandwiches together for lunch, the Spirit came to me and reminded me of what Jesus said about the Jewish leaders. That they wouldn't have known they had sin if He had not come as a light to shine against their darkness. He raised a standard and then they knew they had sin. They had to make a choice. I was later reminded by Bud in his sermon, that when Peter preached on the day of Pentecost some of these same religious people, who just shortly thought they were doing God a favor by crucifying Jesus, now pleaded with Peter on how they could be saved. Some of them, however, a short time later stoned Stephen.
Pray for me. We need to be covered tomorrow as we will make our weekly visit. I feel things are coming to a head. Mamie herself, who is 89 says she knows she is still here because she is not ready to meet the Lord. Pray I will speak boldly. I want to avoid arguments, but I know now I must speak boldly to Mamie about this, or she may never see it as sin. Pray for Mamie. That she won't let pride ruin her soul. Pray for Mattie, that she won't shrink back from the opportunity to dig her well deep by loving these poor, rejected people at the nursing home.
Stephanie, thank you so much for encouraging her by your response to her blog entry. Others on the outside can sometimes say things better than a parent. Thanks for helping Mattie to dig her well!
I will change the subject now and give you all a praise report. Mark is going to get the spinal decompression treatments. Multiple conformations, including encouragement even from the medical doctor he has been seeing, make it clear this is the way to go. There are to be 20 treatments lasting over a 5 week period. He is not suppose to lift more than 15-20 lbs. This will be tricky finding work while at the same time obeying doc's orders. I am through, however, worrying over provision. He knows my needs before I ask. How absurd would it be for me, of all people, whom God has proven a million times He can handle the provision thing, to have the audacity to worry. Anyway, I believe God is going to use these treatments to heal Mark. Maybe you all could believe along with me, just as you have so faithfully prayed us through so much already. Thanks to all!
Peace and Blessings!
My request is for Mamie, my neighbor. She does not have peace about where she is going after death and is challenging me more and more on that subject. I have had to get more bold with her about some issues that she doesn't see as sin. She is from the generation of "deep south" mentality, in which there is a prejudice against other races, especially blacks. She considers them inferior to her own race, and never hesitates to speak with derogatory words towards them even in the presence of my 11 year old daughter. I had to get really bold last week when one such incident came up. I had to tell her how wrong it is to talk so about the very people who, ironically, are taking care of her now that she is in this home. She is certain she is a Christian, but we all know there is a current of hatred that runs under such an attitude. I John makes it plain that we can't say we love God and hate our brother at the same time. Her pride in the religion she was taught by her parents keeps her from repentance. They had the same attitude, therefore it must be okay. To repent would be to have to admit that her parents where wrong. This will take a miracle, but I believe God wants to do just that.
I stood up for the righteous way with a measure of boldness last week, but I must confess if Mattie had not been there I may have brushed it off. I am ashamed to admit I have brushed off this attitude before. It isn't easy being confrontational. I felt I was arguing, and the Lord warns us against arguing with unbeliever in I Tim. I left feeling uncertain if I had really been saying what the Spirit wanted me to say.
As I was seeking God about these things while later slapping sandwiches together for lunch, the Spirit came to me and reminded me of what Jesus said about the Jewish leaders. That they wouldn't have known they had sin if He had not come as a light to shine against their darkness. He raised a standard and then they knew they had sin. They had to make a choice. I was later reminded by Bud in his sermon, that when Peter preached on the day of Pentecost some of these same religious people, who just shortly thought they were doing God a favor by crucifying Jesus, now pleaded with Peter on how they could be saved. Some of them, however, a short time later stoned Stephen.
Pray for me. We need to be covered tomorrow as we will make our weekly visit. I feel things are coming to a head. Mamie herself, who is 89 says she knows she is still here because she is not ready to meet the Lord. Pray I will speak boldly. I want to avoid arguments, but I know now I must speak boldly to Mamie about this, or she may never see it as sin. Pray for Mamie. That she won't let pride ruin her soul. Pray for Mattie, that she won't shrink back from the opportunity to dig her well deep by loving these poor, rejected people at the nursing home.
Stephanie, thank you so much for encouraging her by your response to her blog entry. Others on the outside can sometimes say things better than a parent. Thanks for helping Mattie to dig her well!
I will change the subject now and give you all a praise report. Mark is going to get the spinal decompression treatments. Multiple conformations, including encouragement even from the medical doctor he has been seeing, make it clear this is the way to go. There are to be 20 treatments lasting over a 5 week period. He is not suppose to lift more than 15-20 lbs. This will be tricky finding work while at the same time obeying doc's orders. I am through, however, worrying over provision. He knows my needs before I ask. How absurd would it be for me, of all people, whom God has proven a million times He can handle the provision thing, to have the audacity to worry. Anyway, I believe God is going to use these treatments to heal Mark. Maybe you all could believe along with me, just as you have so faithfully prayed us through so much already. Thanks to all!
Peace and Blessings!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
My Fun\Exhausting Afternoon!
This is Mattie. I don't have a blog so my mom has graciously offered to let me use her's. Today Mom and I went to vist our former neighber who lives in a nursing home. I went in knowing it was going to be hard but thought I could make everyone happy. I came like a puppy who just got a severe scolding. It was so depressing in there! There is absolutely NO joy! The happy spirit is dead. My heart broke.
But anyway. On to the happy things! The Beach family were having their house sprayed for fleas so they came and spent the afternoon with us. It was sooooooooo much fun! Hannah brought her polly pockets over and we played with those for a while and then went swimming for almost two hours! It was fun but I'm exhausted! Well I gotta help Mom with supper so toodle-doo!
But anyway. On to the happy things! The Beach family were having their house sprayed for fleas so they came and spent the afternoon with us. It was sooooooooo much fun! Hannah brought her polly pockets over and we played with those for a while and then went swimming for almost two hours! It was fun but I'm exhausted! Well I gotta help Mom with supper so toodle-doo!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
New hope for Mark
We have good news! The Lord has seen fit to lead us in a new direction involving treatment for Mark's back. We have been hearing about Spinal decompression treatments. We did not pursue this avenue before because it is provided through Chiropractic Clinics. We have insurance that has graciously been provided for us, and we didn't know if it would cover anything but medical stuff. Being in the throws of consultations with medical doctors, Mark felt we should stay on one course and not vary. Through testing, it has finally been diagnosed that he has 4 discs suffering from moderate degeneration. This means they are wearing out and will only get worse as things generally go. At this point, the doctor has recommended a proceedure that only masks pain, at best up to 70%. Mark is supposed to have a consultation this Thursday about that proceedure. He has not had a peace about this during this past two months of waiting for this appointment. Finally, yesterday morning before work he told me to call and see if we could get in to a clinic in Tyler that we know about that provides the spinal decompression treatment. Cass and I prayed that if this is supposed to be a new direction for us God would give us confirmation by allowing us to get such a spur-of-the-moment appointment. We got it and the girl on the line was very positive that they had been able to help lots of people with Mark's condition. Later that day, Mark and I were driving down Judson Road and saw a big sign in front of a newly opened clinic. The name is Spinal Decompression Clinic of Texas. We passed back by later. The doc showed us around and set up an appointment with Mark for Wednesday afternoon. The treatment is done on a computerized machine attached to a table on which the patient lies. It actually pulls and reopens the discs in order for circulation and nutrition to be restored to the tissue between the discs. The treatments go on from 4-6 weeks, about 4 times a week. Each treatment lasts 30 minutes and is suppose to actually be comfortable.
We were so encouraged. We later saw a commercial that flashed up about spinal decompression. Kelly Cavel also e-mailed a phone number she had gotten off a comercial earlier that day. It seems like God is flashing his "this is the way, walk ye in it" sign all over the place.
So, please pray for us this week. We are so grateful for this new hope. We are also grateful to all you friends and family that have prayed us through this so far, not to mention even helped take care of our physical needs. Thanks for the love you have poured out. Most of all thanks to the Lord. He truly carries us.
We were so encouraged. We later saw a commercial that flashed up about spinal decompression. Kelly Cavel also e-mailed a phone number she had gotten off a comercial earlier that day. It seems like God is flashing his "this is the way, walk ye in it" sign all over the place.
So, please pray for us this week. We are so grateful for this new hope. We are also grateful to all you friends and family that have prayed us through this so far, not to mention even helped take care of our physical needs. Thanks for the love you have poured out. Most of all thanks to the Lord. He truly carries us.
Friday, June 1, 2007
The Valley of Baca
My heart swells with gratitude to the living God. He is full of mercy and compassion. I find myself weeping again. That is what Baca means. The valley of Baca, is the valley of weeping. This, I know does not sound like a very desirable label for anything. But I find it describes well the broken place I find myself. Things happen everyday that remind me of this brokenness and utter dependency on my Savior.
I'm here all alone this evening (a rare moment). A friend, thinking no one was here came by to leave an envelope with $100 in it. A verse was also enclosed, but no signature. She obviously wanted to be anonymous. We chatted for a few minutes and she left. I came inside and opened it and promply fell to my knees. This dear sister cannot afford this, but she is obeying the Lord, and the biggest blessing will be hers. Here I am again God! How long will I be on the receiving end? How long will I be in this valley where nothing makes sense? No answers for my many questions come through. Like David, I find tears are my only comfort.
Mark is still in so much pain every time he tries to do a job for more than one day. The doctor offers no hope accept a proceedure that manages the pain. One job that would usually take three days takes two weeks. No company will hire anyone who calls in sick 2-3 times a week. I never dreamed this would go on for a year after six previous years of financial strain.
This is a part of my May 30th journal entry:
" I have been learning what it means to wait on the Lord this past year. I did not set out to learn this, cliffs too steep, mountains too high pressed me into it. I have prayed for an unwavering faith, courage, and most of all the joy of the Lord. The Lord has given me nothing but weeping. THe strange thing is weeping has become my dearest friend to the point that I'm almost sad to think God will wipe every tear away some day, and that sound will cease to be heard. "
A few weeks ago I was led to the passage in Exodus about when Moses pleaded for God's spirit not to depart from the children of Israel. Moses basically tells God not to let him live any longer if His spirit is going to depart and not go with them. I felt a longing to say that prayer. I told God I didn't care anymore how my life went, I just could not and would not go on without a His spirit. I still cry over my lot, but somewhere in all of this I find myself crying more and more over other people. Perhaps, because like my sister in the Lord who just came to my door bearing a gift, I am still giving every time a tear falls for someones marriage, lost child, or all those sad people at the nursing home where my neighbor has recently had to go.
So, Lord, let the springs come. I know I can dwell here in this valley as long as You dwell with me.
I'm here all alone this evening (a rare moment). A friend, thinking no one was here came by to leave an envelope with $100 in it. A verse was also enclosed, but no signature. She obviously wanted to be anonymous. We chatted for a few minutes and she left. I came inside and opened it and promply fell to my knees. This dear sister cannot afford this, but she is obeying the Lord, and the biggest blessing will be hers. Here I am again God! How long will I be on the receiving end? How long will I be in this valley where nothing makes sense? No answers for my many questions come through. Like David, I find tears are my only comfort.
Mark is still in so much pain every time he tries to do a job for more than one day. The doctor offers no hope accept a proceedure that manages the pain. One job that would usually take three days takes two weeks. No company will hire anyone who calls in sick 2-3 times a week. I never dreamed this would go on for a year after six previous years of financial strain.
This is a part of my May 30th journal entry:
" I have been learning what it means to wait on the Lord this past year. I did not set out to learn this, cliffs too steep, mountains too high pressed me into it. I have prayed for an unwavering faith, courage, and most of all the joy of the Lord. The Lord has given me nothing but weeping. THe strange thing is weeping has become my dearest friend to the point that I'm almost sad to think God will wipe every tear away some day, and that sound will cease to be heard. "
A few weeks ago I was led to the passage in Exodus about when Moses pleaded for God's spirit not to depart from the children of Israel. Moses basically tells God not to let him live any longer if His spirit is going to depart and not go with them. I felt a longing to say that prayer. I told God I didn't care anymore how my life went, I just could not and would not go on without a His spirit. I still cry over my lot, but somewhere in all of this I find myself crying more and more over other people. Perhaps, because like my sister in the Lord who just came to my door bearing a gift, I am still giving every time a tear falls for someones marriage, lost child, or all those sad people at the nursing home where my neighbor has recently had to go.
So, Lord, let the springs come. I know I can dwell here in this valley as long as You dwell with me.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)